Salesman in livechat

2010-03-15 18:35 by Ian

We have a program at work that customers can use to chat with us from our website. Usually it’s very helpful because it’s faster than email and allows precise exchange of text strings (which can’t be done over the phone).

Every so often, some salesman or wise-guy decides to abuse the chat system. I have developed a subtle defense. An unedited chat transcript follows….

Initial Question: are you there?

You are now talking to Ian Lindsay in the Support department

Ian Lindsay: Hello
chatw: hello lindsay, I want to contact you because we are development a product that I think it can be of interest to crystaltech
chatw: what are the email address to send you info about our company?
Ian Lindsay:
chatw: can you tell me how many agents you have in the chat room?
chatw: to answers chat questions?
Ian Lindsay: > 100,000
chatw: i’m not sure about your answer, you say that there are 100 agents online to answers chat questions?
Ian Lindsay: 100,000. 1 × 10^5
chatw: 100,000 people working there..?
Ian Lindsay: Only today. Usually there are more.
chatw: 100,000 employes answering chat questions..?
chatw: is important to me to check it becaus the product I want to introduct is about that !
chatw: please confirm it !.
Ian Lindsay: As I said, usually there are more people. We have 2 out sick today.
chatw: so today there are 100,000 agents online now?
Ian Lindsay: Yes, is that so unbelievable?
chatw: excuse me if I ask you again but is a nunber too big to be true
chatw: 100,000 agents is a number too big, you need a football stadium to sit them !
Ian Lindsay: If that’s what the job demands…. You should see our bandwidth bills!
Ian Lindsay: So what did you want to sell us?
chatw: I’m the CEO
chatw: I don’t wan’t to sell, I want to make you our partners and resellers…
Ian Lindsay: send a ticket to You are speaking with support right now.
chatw: can you provide me any email to contact your ceo.
the product we want to introduce is very important from us and for your company, and maybe you can give me any data to contact him.
Ian Lindsay: You can send your email to
chatw: thank you, I will make it asap, regards,